I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
