Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize