Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
