this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
