Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
