She said her name was "party"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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