just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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