I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize