i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
