I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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