What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
