My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
