ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
