Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
