we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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