Christians are straight up FREAKS
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
vagina is talking i cant
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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