Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I will pee on everything he values.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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