Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
