lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
