you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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