I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
