what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
