I'm really into asian looking animals
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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