hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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