her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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