Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
