life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
