Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
zippers are such a cool invention
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
