The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize