Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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