I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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