the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
