yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
