I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
