Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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