Will you blow on my dice?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
