I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize