she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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