Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i will never coherently bang her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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