If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
