I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
