i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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