I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the day after is always just damage control
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
