Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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