my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i think i have herpe
just one?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
