I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
