it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
