ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
