seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
