We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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