fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
