She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
