i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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