wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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