i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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