I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
