even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
what the fuck happened to the tacos
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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