I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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