But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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